Sunday, September 19, 2010

Insomnia, You are a cruel mistress...

If you are the type to read titles/subject lines/the fine print on contracts, you may have gathered that I can't sleep. Not only can I not sleep, I am gripped with that insane, eyes-wide open horror of insomnia. I took a little nap today in which I felt that I didn't sleep at all, but ninety minutes passed so finally I gave up and went downstairs (the fact that Scout was napping on top of me most of the time and finally collapsed his legs underneath him and put his neck across mine to say, in no uncertain terms, "I'd like to merge my soul with yours... please..." may have contributed to my lack of sleep) where upon I called a friend who said, "Oh, you will never be able to sleep tonight now." Jinxed? Freudian? Anyway, it's three a.m. and I've:

#1. Eaten an obscene amount of cheese & crackers and Greek yogurt
#2. Watched three (3) episodes of "White Collar" and then saved them on the TiVo for the husband
#3. Followed Jeremy Davidson's (the actor not the footballer) career online and even watched a short independent film he starred in
#4. Had horrendous heartburn
#5. Culled all of the blogs I've missed for the past two weeks and sent the "best of" to my best friend who, even on Pacific time, is already asleep (P.S. You're welcome...)
#6. Saved the life of a (bridge &) tunnel spider who was streaking across my living room at the witching hour
#7. Woken up the spaniels (and vizsla) no less than ten times... without guilt, because they ruined my nap
#8. Ate four dark-chocolate organic peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's that I've been hoarding for my husband when he gets home
#9. Calculated how much wallpaper it will take to paper my closet, with the options of all paper, paper and paint, my own tears because I haven't slept in so long, etc.
#10. Prayed, begged, and cajoled for sleep. Twice. Then I read the first two parts of Gulliver's Travels.

I am about to try once more, but let me tell you... I feel about as happy as Atticus in the picture that opened this post. It's hard out here for a finch... Hasta la vista...

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